Educated, Dated and Waited
The Dixon's found love at their HBCU, Langston University. In 2010, Takeisa, a native from Los Angeles began her undergraduate career. She was on her journey of becoming a mature woman and was all set to chase her dreams. But, it was at that moment that she had no clue that her Prince Charming, Quentin would soon be coming.
Takeisa: "My transition from Los Angeles to Oklahoma was very exciting. I was so young and ready for
a new adenture. The first thing I noticed about the people in Oklahoma was their manners. Everyone was so nice and no matter where I went, everyone smiled and spoke to me, which was very different for me. My university was located in Langston, Oklahoma, a very small historically black town. There were no sidewalks. The bugs were out of this world and extremely larger and louder than any I had ever seen. Nonetheless, my transition to Oklahoma took some time to get use to, but I had fun and made friends as I adjusted."
A year later, Takeisa was crowned Miss Black Langston University.
How was your experience being crowned Miss Black Langston University?
Takeisa: Being crowned Miss Black Langston University 2012 was an amazing experience. Since my freshman year in undergrad I knew I wanted to run for Miss Black Langston. I loved the history of the pageant because it was created to provide a platform for African- American women to participate in pageantry when major pageants did not welcome African- American participants. My rein as Miss Black Langston was an experience to remember because it helped shape me into a leader as well as a representative and advocate for young women at Langston.
What made you want to become a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc.? What made Quentin want to become a member of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity?
Takeisa: When I was a freshman, there were a few upperclassmen that took me in under their wing. These women helped me get involved on campus and they helped me whenever I called. They were truly the mentors I never knew I needed, but I’m so grateful I met them. I still have very close relationships with all of these women even after college. During the end of my freshman year of college, there was an Alpha Kappa Alpha probate and I watched every single last one of my mentors become ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha. From that day forward, I knew I wanted to be an Alpha Kappa Alpha woman. I became a Spring 2013 initiate of the Alpha Zeta Chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. During my time as an undergraduate Soror, I served as the Vice President of my chapter and in 2014, I was named the Undergraduate Soror with the highest GPA in the Mid-Western region of 8 states, and I was awarded an all-expense paid trip to China. Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. not only gave me an outlet to implement effective initiatives and projects that positively impacted my university and community, but it also gave me a timeless sisterhood I will cherish forever.
Quentin: Growing up, Greek life was heavily influenced upon me. I had male relatives that were apart
of four of fraternities within the National Pan-Hellenic Council. My father is a proud member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. and like any little boy, I wanted to grow up to follow in his footsteps. I arrived at Langston University not really worried about what organization I was going to join until after my freshman year I wasn’t to enthused about going Greek. All summer I explained to my dad that I felt that many chose to join organizations for popularity, validation, as a source of self-finding, and I knew I lacked in none of those areas. I felt so far from the truth and the Beta Epsilon chapter of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc. helped change my perspective. A few of my friends, also interested in becoming Greek, turned my attention the illustrious band of sigma men. These men eloquently mirrored their national organization’s principles and programs locally. The word “Sigma” means “The sum of all” and this fraternity embraced the beauty of different cuts of men joining together to change the world. I remember in my interview for membership I asked about the vision of the chapter, after hearing their plan for promoting stronger brotherhood on the campus, implementing more educational programs, and aiming for the presidential certificate of service hours, I was assured without a doubt about my decision. Last but most importantly, I prayed to God about this leap of faith, I prayed “Lord if this isn’t the door, close it, but if you leave it open I will honor you in this choice.” I became a Fall 2010 initiate of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc. and wasted no time getting active. My chapter that following summer became the International Collegiate Model Chapter, the highest award a collegiate chapter can receive. I served under multiple chapter leadership roles, served on our championship step team, traveled both locally and internationally, but my ultimate goal was and will forever be to continuously give back all that my distinguished fraternity has afforded me.
We all want love and companionship but like all things in life, the dating world can be an emotional roller coaster and sex is such a social norm. The Dixon's shared their story on how they dated and waited, their wedding and advice on love.
How was your dating and waiting experience ?
Takeisa: Quentin and I dated for almost 5 years before we were engaged. We met my freshman year of college and Quentin’s sophomore year of college. During our dating season, Quentin and I trusted God through the whole process. When people ask, how we waited until marriage to kiss and how I waited until marriage to have sex, the answer is so simple, God. He kept us and helped us every step of the way as we placed or relationship in his hands. We established a friendship early on in our relationship and it was our friendship and God’s grace that carried us through those years.
Quentin: What she said… Ha-ha!!! Our relationship from the beginning wasn’t anything like the traditional or worldly standards. God reminded Takeisa and I that we wouldn’t follow anything that was familiar. Several times we tried to conform to what other couples around us exhibited, but one thing we knew was that we must keep our relationship pure. We knew that God would use us to be an example to many and to bring glory to God with our relationship was our eternal purpose. We tried several times to make sense of our unique relationship with trying to find what exceptions we could have while waiting, but we ultimately knew we couldn’t leave no room for the enemy to come in and corrupt. It wasn’t easy, but because God was our foundation, when times became rough we became strong in him.
Quentin how did you know Takeisa was the one for you?
Quentin: Prior to me meeting Takeisa, I was talking to God one night during the summer and he spoke to me that he was going to bring a lady into my life. I thought nothing of this, as I wasn’t searching for a girlfriend and was more focused on my upcoming sophomore year of college. After, meeting Takeisa and getting to know her for about a month, God brought back to me the conversation we had about a lady coming into my life. Once I realized this revelation had manifested I knew that I had to tell Takeisa in faith. Originally Takeisa didn’t understand nor wanted hear my intentions towards her, but that didn’t discourage me because I knew I’d heard from God. I prayed for her confirmation and how to keep my intentions clear in the Lord. I believe a man finds his wife when he finds one who can carry purpose given by God.
Takeisa, how did you know Quentin was the one for you?
Takeisa: God told me Quentin was the one for me. Initially when I met Quentin, we were just friends. He would take my best friend and I to Walmart all the time and we always rode to church with him. Well one night during one of our infamous Walmart trips, we were in the car and Quentin said that God told him I was going to be his wife. I laughed and said, “Well God didn’t tell me that!” As time went on, Quentin was very persistent, but in a way I had never experienced. At the time I did not know, but simply put, he began pursuing me. One day I was praying and asking God to reveal to me who Quentin was and I heard God say, “Quentin is who I have for you.” From that day forward I knew he would be my husband and on July 16, 2016, he became just that.
Quentin, share the story of proposing to her.
Quentin: Since there was no question of whether I was proposing to Takeisa, the question by many was when. I always told Takeisa and anyone who asked, that I’m only moving when the Lord lets me know it’s time, because I’d rather move in his timing not my own. He spoke to me in 2014 and I immediately started shopping and planning. A few months passed and I had the date set for her graduation day in front of everyone. Then things shifted suddenly, I got fired from my job and I had the choice of doubting God or wait for his direction. I felt like a fool once graduation day arrived and everyone who I told was expecting this to be the day. I stayed determined, while I knew my current job situation was all over the place and probably had Takeisa doubting any proposal for a while. Despite many telling me to put it off, I stayed diligent with my second plan of proposal. One morning I told Takeisa that I’ve always made my relationship with her intentional, so to pick a date in 2016 and let’s start planning our wedding. We wrote it out, prayed over it, and submitted it to God. Sunday November 8, 2015 after church I prepared a horse carriage ride, a walk through a garden full of five pictures of distinct memorable moments when God stopped the world just for Takeisa, which led to me stopping my world just to ask her to be in my world for eternity.
Takeisa how did you feel that day? We’re you expecting it?
Takeisa: I was definitely expecting the proposal, but I just didn’t know how he was going to do. I must say, he exceeded every expectation I had. At that moment, I remembered all of our prayers, all of our struggles, everything God had promised us. I remembered them all in that moment and it was so humbling to experience God’s faithfulness toward us.
How was the wedding day?
Takeisa: The wedding was absolutely breathtaking. It was more than I had ever dreamed. To see all of our family and friends there to celebrate our union was awesome. The highlight of our wedding was the fact that seven people gave their lives to Christ during our wedding. Sometimes I wish I can do it all over again, not the planning part, just the wedding day. It was so fun!
Quentin: Our wedding day was a Royal Affair! I always told Takeisa our wedding day should be the 2nd greatest day until the day we meet in heaven. We were surrounded by so many people we loved and most importantly those who prayed and supported us from the beginning. The ceremony was spirit filled and reconfirmed that truly our union was pleasing in God’s sight. We prayed that people wouldn’t be distracted by the glamour of the wedding, but would see the glory we were designed to bring God. God was faithful to our request and had his way saving souls, convicting others to recommit their lives, and blessing us with a divine encounter of his love.
What’s the best thing to do when couples get upset with each other?
Takeisa: It’s important to learn how to communicate effectively. Remember that your partner is not your enemy. Everyone has feelings and emotions and couples must remember to listen to each other and offer solutions to problems, together.
Quentin: I’d say first look at yourself in the mirror. It’s easy to see the wrong in others, but if you’re not willing to confront your truth then what right do you have in pointing out your spouse’s. I remind myself that I must love my wife as Christ loves his church; it tends to make me love harder and helps me become a solution rather than the problem finder. My wife isn’t against me, she’s for me, we’re a team, it’s our choice daily to intentionally make actions that set us up for success.
What are some great tools to maintain a strong relationship with interference of social media and love being so hard to find these days?
Takeisa: Don’t allow social media to consume your life. Remember, social media is a platform and everything you post reflects you. Talk with your partner about setting boundaries for social media and be honest with each other.
Quentin: Definitely prioritize your time spent on social media. If Christ is your foundation of your relationship and he says let no Gods before him, then that applies to your relationship, let no idol come in between. Exercise a healthy communication of “who” and “what” we will allow to have influence in our relationship. Lastly, block out anything that doesn’t agree with what your relationship is built upon.
What advice can you give your peers about dating?
Takeisa: Trust God through the process. Allow God to bring you your mate and don’t waste time on meaningless relationships if they do not honor God or your personal beliefs.
Quentin: Go Gods pace, don’t rush it. Seek God first always. Don’t let the world’s standards steal your uniqueness. MOST IMPORTANT, IF YOUR INTENTIONS AREN’T MARRIAGE, DON’T DATE!!!!!