I'm A Proud Gay Black Man

Dating girls was…. It was pretty cool. I dated three girls in high school. Each one was different from the other. Freshman year there was a girl, a great basketball player, pretty in the face, and very shy. Honestly I didn’t remember her name the first two weeks we were dating. She didn’t really keep my attention because I was a firecracker. Sophomore year I dated the new girl at school, kind of nerdy but cute and had a nice curvy body. And baby, let me tell you something… I love curvy girls. I connected with her the most. Both of us well spoken & very smart. She was able to keep my attention. I am someone who gets easily distracted. Somewhere down the line after we broke up she became a lesbian; how ironic. Later somewhere down the line I dated a fine chocolate girl. This one right here had a body for days. She had front and back (not that I even cared). She was cool but she was more of my home girl than my girl. I honestly enjoyed having girfriends; it helped me to come to the terms that I was gay. I stopped dating girls because I started dating a older guy when I was in my senior year. That’s another story for another day.

I knew I wasn’t heterosexual when I turned 18. I started becoming intimate with my significant other. I hadn’t yet lost my virginity but I was exploring other things. I wouldn’t really say I was in the closet, I’d like to think of myself as that nice shirt that you hang up on the outside of your closet because you were preparing to wear it really soon.

I never really had to deal with struggles when it came to my sexuality. For the most part I was just trying to identify with who I wanted to be versus the person I was. I’ve always been pretty comfortable in my own skin. Never wanted to be anyone else other then myself. My family and friends have always and continue to support me with my sexuality and decisions I make based upon it.

I remember coming home one day finding my mom in the back yard picking up dog poop in the backyard. At this time I was in love with my first boyfriend, Anthony Williams. The cutest brown skin brother with the most perfect teeth I have ever seen, the love of my life. My mom and I have strong bond. I was at the point in my relationship where I was ready for her to meet the guy I had been sneaking around with. I went to her and said “Mom I need to tell you something… As you know I’m gay (that being the first time I had to admit that to anyone and it felt relieving).” She responds to me with a warm smile reassuring me “Moms already know, I wanted to come to me when you were ready. I love you not just because you’re my son but because you bring so much good to the world and the people around you. If this is what makes you happy then I support you to the fullest.”

When it came to my dad that was another story. He actually came to me one day I stopped by his house and asked me himself. He couldn’t really come to terms and ask but I understood what he was trying to say and I answered him honestly but hesitant. Not because I was afraid of what he thought but more so of what his reaction would be. I’m lucky enough to have parents who support me & just want to see me happy even if that means going against our beliefs.

Growing up in the African American community I was of coursed picked on but I never let that dull my shine. I remember there was a time my older brother DJ and I was walking home from the neighborhood park. There was a girl who was a year or two older then my brother walking home as well. For some strange reason she felt the need to pick on me because I was “the gay boy” in the neighborhood. She teased me all the way home with my brother doing nothing about it. My dad’s girlfriend at the time Kendra immediately came to my aid asking me what had happen. We walked around the corner to where the girl lived. Btw this weirdo girl was in high school. Kendra gave her a piece of her mind. From that point on I told myself no one will ever tease or pick on me about my sexuality or who I was for that matter.

My advice to my fellow gay sister and brothers is live in your truth. Don’t let this cruel world make you into something you’re not. People will try to tear you down but its up to you to stand your grounds. You deserve a certain amount of respect. The world sees us as soft but only because they are afraid of us. We happen to be some of the strongest people. To face the brutality of the world. Educate yourself so you know your worth. You are someone important & you matter.

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