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Overcoming Obstacles: Losing My Favorite Girl

April 21, 2017

Losing a love one is never an easy task. Ke'Arra Nunnery was strong enough share her story about losing her grandmother. Ke'Arra reflects on her fondest memories with her grandma,  the last moments they shared together, Her grandma's cause of death, her grieving process, how her grandmother has inspired her and gives advice for someone who has recently lost a love one.  

 

 

What I remember most about my granny is always being there. She was at every cheer game, track meet, basketball game, everything I did she was there and cheering the loudest. Everyone knew granny! I miss her being her silly self singing and dancing with my sister, brother, mom, and I.

 

She always gave the BEST advice. She knew what to say, when to say it, and those prayers were always powerful! 

 

Her attending my graduation from Bennett College in May 2016. She was so proud. She kept telling me how proud she was of me over and over (even months after graduation) I couldn’t help but smile all day! 

 

 

 

Months after graduation I went into a post-graduate depression and I couldn’t shake the funk for the life of me. My granny came across her old book called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and handed it to me. That book changed my life and mindset. We set and talked about that book and the lessons I’ve learned for weeks.

 

Going up to her room to bother her and listen to her talk about the insane celebrities on TMZ LOL!

 

Going to my Meme & Bubba’s house (her mom and dad) house and hang with the whole family and eat good. I mean who can say they have their grandparents AND great grandparents in their life? Good memories!

 

Months before we found out her cancer came back my Bennett sister Charisma came to CA to visit and we sat with my granny and had girl chat and it was nothing but laughs. She always made my friends feel like she was their granny too.

 

I could go on and on so I’ll leave it here. 

 

Ke'Arra goes on to shares the last moments with her favorite girl. During this process Ke'Arra managed to stay strong for her mom, younger siblings and her granny. 

 

My last moments with my granny were filled with laughs, love, and silent tears.She was herself all the way to the end, sassy! We did everything in our power to keep her laughing. Even when we wanted to cry we kept a straight face for her. 

 

In 2013 my granny was diagnosed with breast cancer and beat it! The doctor had let my mom and uncle know that if it ever came back it would come back in her brain and her bones. In August 2016 our worst nightmare came true.  

 

The power of her cancer in the last few months took over her. We found out and immediately started radiation since the cancer this time went straight to her brain and bones. We never got to the chemotherapy process. She went from walking and still talking to being tired and not being able to walk. That was hard. It was hard to watch, but I kept a strong face for everyone.

 

Fast forward after her last radiation treatment everything went down hill and went down hill fast. My mom took off from work for those months and I had started my new job so we would tag team. My mom would be with my granny during the day taking care of her and I would be rushing back home to help out to take care of my granny. 

 

We were in and out of the hospital two months straight. Like I said my mom and I were a team so because I have a younger sister and brother who are in school, my mom would go home and I would spend the night with my granny in the hospital making sure she was okay. Then my mom would come back up to the hospital and we would switch. I would head to work, after work go grab my sister and brother from school bring them up to the hospital, and do it all over again. 

 

Even through all of her pain and hospital visits we still wanted my granny to feel like herself. We did everything in our power to keep being funny, laughing, and talking to her as if everything was just how it was a few months prior to us finding out about the cancer coming back.

 

If I had to go through the whole process with my granny again and do it all over again, I would. 

 

 

 

As hard as it may be you have to continue to live after losing someone close to you and Ke'Arra is is doing just that. Ke'Arra has started blogging and traveling. She is such a strong beautiful person inside and out. 

 

 

My granny would want me to LIVE! I don’t mean live like we all are right now, I’m talking really living and enjoying life! My granny always enjoyed life, she traveled, enjoyed family, was supportive, and made memories. So I believe she would want me to just live and enjoy my life and not regret a thing.  

 

Death is something no one could ever get used to but it is a obstacle you can overcome. 

 

My grieving process was and still is HARD. I was super close to my granny. It was always me, my granny, and my mom for the longest. Everything I did it was for them. 

 

I remember crying the day we found out at the hospital and then I gathered myself and told myself I had to put on a strong face. For months I put on a strong face. Until Nov 21st, the day she took her last breath was the day that I had lost it. I cried to myself going to work, at work, coming from work, in the shower. I still kept a strong face for my mom, sister, and brother and was their listening ear and shoulder to cry on. But, I was dealing with it my own way. 

 

The same morning she took her last breath we were already gathered in her private hospital room and I had fell asleep and had a dream about her. It was just me and her  in the dream, and to sum it all up I was watching her make her transition. She was perfectly fine, talking, smiling, and looking healthy as ever. I honestly believe that dream has somewhat eased my grieving process. It has helped me to know that she is okay and happy. That’s all I want for her.

 

I still have my days where I get teary-eyed or just miss her presence but she always sends me a sign to reassure me that everything will be okay whether that be her coming in my dreams or a white butterfly flying right across my face. I know it’s her and it calms me for the time being. 

 

I thank God for my close friends, some of my Bennett sisters, and my boyfriend because without them and the talks I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through it all.

 

Lastly Ke'Arra shares some advice on grieving and how she is coping. 

 

Losing a loved one is never easy but here is some advice that has helped me get through: 

1: Journal: Sometimes its hard to explain what you really feel because you are either trying to be strong or maybe feel like no one understands. I’ve found journaling to be very helpful. It lets you be still and live in the moment of your anger or hurt. You’re able to write it down, and then release.

2: Talking out loud to your loved one: I do this  ALOT! Act as if they are still here. I still talk to my granny out loud everyday. I wake up and say good morning, good night, talk at our favorite spots, you name it. I’m talking! Try it, have a conversation with your loved one. Even if its talking out loud to them about your hurt, what you’re going through, whatever the case may be. Your loved one may not physically be here but they are still around. 

3: Be open: Now this one can be hard one for many, being open. Be open to receiving signs, be open to talking about it. Being open will help you in ways that you couldn’t even imagine. I found with me being open to receiving signs and open to my granny coming to my dreams, I have been able to connect her with ways that have helped me get some sort of peace.

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