Dear Laila and Lauren I want you to be proud of me, everything I do, I do it for you guys. I never felt love from anyone like I feel it from you guys. I was so lost without you and so incomplete. You little ladies make me feel whole. I pray that you don’t follow my steps and fall where I have fell and that you make better choices than what I have. Always be kind and know that you guys are all you have so take care of each other. You guys are the two best friends that anyone could have. I love to the moon and back.
My definition of Motherhood is sacrifice all of your needs come second to your kids.
What was your reaction when you found out you were expecting?
Both times I was scared not knowing what to do.
How did you tell your parents?
Well both of my parents are deceased, but I had to tell my aunt so I called her and just told her.
How’d you deal with your morning sickness?
With my first pregnancy I would only throw up when I brushed my teeth , but with my second baby I was so sick that I would starve myself.
What are the pro and cons of motherhood?
A pro of motherhood would be having someone who loves you despite your flaws. A con is not being able to jump up and leave whenever I want to.
Do you miss your belly?
Absolutely not I hate being pregnant
Was your pregnancy planned?
Nope neither one of them.
What were your cravings during your pregnancy?
With my first pregnancy I craved watermelon. Second pregnancy was Ice and hot sauce (not together)
How was the name picking process?
For Laila it was hell see my kids father is Muslim so his family was like you have to give her an Arabic name I didn’t like too many of them but Laila was pretty so that’s what I choose. Lauren was a lot easier because I had come to conclusion that I’m sacrificing my body and life I should pick the name I want.
Did you turn into a Momzilla planning for the baby shower? How was the babyshower? What was your theme?
I didn’t turn into a momzilla at all I am very Passive. My babyshower was fun it was more of kickback like cookout type of vibe my theme was a Luau.
Describe your pregnancy with a song or movie title. Explain.
Zion by Lauryn Hill sound so cliché I know but it’s truly how I felt everyone telling me to use my head but I just couldn’t I loved them from the very moment I found out.
How do you balancing your career/school plus motherhood?
It’s hard balancing being a mother and working because it’s like a second job and time isn’t always on your side especially if you are single mom.
With so much police brutality going on how does it make you feel as a mother?
Oh this makes me so sad as much as I love my kids I wish I didn’t bring them into such a hateful world. I terrified for them because not only are they of African descent they also carry the last name Muhammad which makes me feel like they have two targets on their backs for discrimination.
What was it like hearing your child’s heartbeat for the very first time?
It was the most amazing thing ever I loved their little heartbeats I cried the first time I heard them.
Where were you when your water broke? Explain what happened next.
The hospital the doctor had to break my water because I was induced the first time and the second time I had a scheduled c section.
How was your birth center experience? Which did you enjoy more the hospital or birthing center and why? The hospital I was in too much pain to enjoy the birthing center.
How was the day you gave birth? Did you go natural, C section or get an epidural? The day I gave birth was so scary I had to have a C section because I couldn’t dilate I got stuck at 6cm I was so disappointed in myself I was in labor for 24 hours before they told me I didn’t get an epidural until I was in like the 19 hour of labor and my auntie had to force the doctors to give it to me.
What has motherhood taught you?
Motherhood has taught me how to be patient responsible and selfless. It also taught me how to function on 2hrs of sleep.
Do you wish you would’ve waited?
I do I wish I was more financially stable but by the time I’m 40 I’ll be done and my kids will be old enough to watch themselves.
What are the ugly truths about pregnancy, labor and motherhood that no one told you?
The ugly truth about pregnancy is how drained you become, labor is scary to me it wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. The ugly truth about motherhood is although we make it look easy its hard. Long nights and early mornings with no pay and no sick days but it’s worth it.