Motherhood Taught Me Patience and How To Love
What’s your definition of Motherhood? Motherhood means sacrifice. It means sacrificing your mind, body, and spirit to give life. Even when your baby is born, it means doing any and everything possible- making the impossible possible- to make sure that your child is well. That means spiritually well, mentally, emotionally and financially.
What was your reaction when you found out you were expecting? When I found out that I was pregnant, I felt like I was in a dream. Sometimes, I still feel that way. I was excited to tell everybody the news and a little nervous, but it didn’t hit me until much later that my life would change drastically, forever. How did you tell your parents? My mother and I had the same OBGYN doctor and our appointments were the same day. When I found out that I was five weeks pregnant, my doctor asked, “How do you think your mom will take it?” I shrugged, went right into the lobby to meet my mother and I blurted it out. "I'm pregnant" If I didn’t tell her then, I would never tell her. I said, “they want me back in a week for a pregnancy confirmation” and she burst out laughing. I told her that I was serious and the laughter stopped. She was more shocked than anything by that point. How’d you deal with your morning sickness? My morning sickness was hell! I didn’t even have any symptoms until I found out that I was pregnant. Onions made me throw up and every time I brushed my teeth I wanted to vomit, sometimes I did. I dealt with it by eating sunflower seeds and drinking Green Tea Ginger Ale. I even did breathing exercises.
What are the pro and cons of motherhood? A pro is seeing my baby grow and develop. For instance, Meccah, my son used a green crayon to color a picture of a turtle the other day, and I was so proud. He’s started dancing and has developed his own sense of humor. It’s fun. The biggest con is when it’s raining outside and you have to carry your baby, his bag, your bag and an umbrella. Now, I just carry a clutch with all my important things and put it in his backpack and I make him hold the umbrella. Do you miss your belly? No, I don’t miss my belly! It was always in the way! I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t see my vagina! What were your cravings during your pregnancy? I craved the same things that I crave now smoothie king and Ice cream. After I had him, I craved Shake Shack and ate it every day.
How was the name picking process? We thought of a bunch of names for boys and girls and one of my friends named her son Micah the year before, which I really liked. So, I thought, why not change the “I” to an “E” Meccah. Plus, Meccah means holy city in Islam, and it’s 10,000 kilometers from India. Get it? Did you turn into a Momzilla planning for the baby shower? How was the babyshower? What was your theme? No, I wasn’t really a momzilla when it came to the baby shower. We planned ahead of time so everything and I paid someone to put everything together for me. My baby shower was beautiful, but my then ex-boyfriend and I weren’t getting along, so it wasn’t really enjoyable, but I still have nice photos! The theme was Once Upon A Time. Describe your pregnancy with a song or movie title? Explain. My pregnancy would be named, “The Choice” or “The Best of Me” both Nicholas Sparks movies. Going through the pregnancy was definitely one of the major choices in life, and while it was hard, I think that it’s one of the best choices I’ve made in life alone. How do you balancing your career/school plus motherhood? It’s hard balancing everything. I was recently in school for adult education, but I was always so exhausted from my mommy duties and from work that I just couldn’t balance it. I’ll go back when he’s older though. But, now I work for Children’s Hospital and I love the balance because I learn more about motherhood every day and that helps with balancing it all. With so much police brutality going on how does it make you feel as a mother? It’s scary knowing that black men are targets in this world. It makes me want to train my son now on what to say and what not to say and he’s only one year old. As a parent, your only worry is your child’s safety. Of course it makes me want to protect him from everything. I don’t even want him going to school in the south, but the south isn’t the only place where racism lives, and that’s the scariest part.
What was it like hearing your child’s heartbeat for the very first time? It was surreal hearing his heartbeat for the first time, but it wasn’t real for me yet. I was glad to hear it, but it’s kind of weird the first time you hear it.
How was the day you gave birth? Did you go natural, C section or get an epidural? The day before I gave birth, I worked. I was in case management then too and I went on a home visit where one of my client’s children had a stomach virus. I went in the hospital that night with the same symptoms and gave birth the next afternoon. The birth was easy thanks to the Epidural! But those cramps? Nerve wrecking, not really painful, but that’s definitely the worst part. Giving birth was easy and I would do it again any day. It’s the healing process that sucks.
What has motherhood taught you? Motherhood taught me patience and how to love. Do you wish you would’ve waited? Yes, I do wish I would’ve waited. It’s so ironic that now I feel the need to live after giving birth. I was a stay at home kind of girl before, but now I’m like “let me out!”
What advice can you give to other single moms on motherhood, raising your child and dealing with the blue the child's father may bring? My advice to another single mom would be, be patient, pray, be positive, and educate yourself especially if you’re a first time mother. There are a lot of things that I’m still learning, but it’s good to be open to knowledge regarding parent-child interaction and safety. Baby father blues? Be the mature adult. If he only brings you hell, get rid of him, but make sure that he does what he needs to for your child! A lot of women put their men before their kids. Trust me, that’s an epic fail! Always put your kids first!