Tatum's Mom

Dear Daughter, I want you to know that with everything in me I love you. I want nothing but the best for you in this world that we live in. Set your goals, accomplish your goals and soar. Never put a limit on what you can do because you can do anything you put your mind to. As long as I live I am here for you and I support you every step of the way. I'm your number one fan!

My definition of Motherhood is a choice that I make, putting my needs on pause to care for someone else's wellbeing before my own. Teaching them right from wrong instilling in them the values of life itself. My reaction when I found out I was pregnant had me speechless. I knew something was wrong I just couldn't exactly place my finger on it, but I was in the right direction. I had all types of emotions, but what really mad me feel instantly motivated was the fact that I wasn't employed at the time so I felt like a bum pregnant with no "career" job. Whew, I told my parents at different times. So for my mom she kinda knew because I was sick and she texted and told me to take a PT test. I played dumb like I didn't know what "PT" was (Pregnancy Test). For my dad I waited until I had a job to tell him as well as Teekie's family. My morning sickness was HELL. I had hyperemesis with dehydration which causes me to vomit non stop. Pretty much the whole pregnancy. I had to be hospitalized to get fluids. I also had ptylism where my saliva would be so thick I couldn't swallow it. I lost so much weight starting out at 140 down the 120 some. I had just started my new job at social service when I developed the ptylism. Try walking about greeting people by knoding with a bath cloth up to your moth to spit!

Pros to motherhood is someone calling you mommy. You're that little persons hero, life saver, doctor, just their whole wide world & at the little age they just don't know the sacrifices done to make them happy. Cons of motherhood would be lifting up your wing to allow that child to grow up and be independent. If you're anything like me you want them To stay little forever even though we know they can't.

Of course I miss my belly. I felt really attractive with my belly. No no no no no my pregnancy was not planned. I had just graduated college good and wanted to explore the world until I found out I had a bun in the oven. Lol I craved pineapples. I stayed wanted something sweet but due to everything coming up it was horrible and the closes I got to sweets were the pineapples that also helped with my salvia. Honey. the name picking process was hilarious, but serious. I wanted a name with meaning. I wanted a name that would somewhat match her fathers name. I wanted to make sure there wasn't many names in the county that had the name Tatum. I wanted her name to stand out and actually fit her. Out of all the names we picked Tatum kept sticking out over all the other names. I would yell the name as though she was in the room so I could hear what it sounds like.

Hahaha. I honestly don't think I was a Momzilla. I had a shower committee which was people who I felt would carry out the duties. They were my close friends and I knew they would get the job done. I really didn't have a name theme it was more so color which was pink and gold. I wanted to incorporate my favorite color as well as my fiancé. It was pretty much a princess theme just more color than decor with an actually Princess. My pregnancy was all over the place so I cannot think of what movie or song would best describe it. Tatum though have a song she likes to sing and listen too call "The gift" by Donald Lawrence and that song sticks out to me not only because she sings it but because it really makes me think that "the gift" which was my daughter looked good on me even though I lost a lot of weight and didn't feel attractive, God had really blessed me with a gift of my own so regardless of what it took she's mine. She's my gift and God has blessed me with her.

It takes a village to raise a child is so true. It really takes my support system and myself to juggle working an hour away from home and back. I feel comfortable knowing that Teekie family member who is his aunt takes wonderful care of my baby. His family lives right by each other so she's surrounded by all types of love. It gets stressful at times because I be extremely tired once I get home but she's the reason I speed home because I be ready to get my arms wrapped around her with tons of kisses.

The police brutality that is going on in the world has me scared. I sit and think how easily that can be my child, but my job is to not place fearing the police in her heart but to instill in her the right and wrong way to handle situations with them. The very first time I heard my child's heartbeat I was scared and nervous because of all the complications I was having they had to make sure it wasn't a ectopic pregnancy so I went in thinking the worse but once I heard the actual heart beat I was at ease and confident. I was happy knowing things were alright and it was actually a human in there. Wow. The day that I had my daughter I went natural. I didn't want to get the epidural but I had to because days prior to my induction my fiancé and I was in a terrible car accident where someone ran the stop sign and T-boned us. In the process I broke my ankle. Once we arrived to The hospital the induction started then since I was going into preeclampsia. Things went by so fast and with me being pregnant and panicking my emotions and my thoughts were all together was all over the place. So with all the pain I endured I had to get an epidural and luckily I was able to deliver her naturally because due to the accident I encountered abrasions from the seatbelt that were bleeding in the area if I was to have had the c section. Motherhood has taught me to love, to be patient because with my daughter being that she's a girl I can't rush. I feel if I rush something is missed in the process so patience, to be understanding, to be a teacher in the mist of confusion when my daughter don't understand why no is no, to be the peace in the storm when my daughter gets hurt and running around crying lol being extra is what I call it and to overall strive for greatness. We as mothers want our children to be the best that they can be so why not be that example for them. My daughter motivates me to be more.

Waiting I don't know where I would be if I would have waited. I believe she came at a time where I needed her to allow me grow more as an individual and to learn the things that I needed to such as patience and being understanding etc. Advice I would give another mother would be to strive. Regardless of whether or not the child's father is present strive because a lot of things start within the home. Give your child the environment that will make a difference in their life as they get older. Instill in then values And self worth. Love on them because if you don't it's others that will that won't be in the way you would. You can never do enough Teaching. Teach them, explain to them and help them understand.

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